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Do you have anything funny to share, as long as its
not to rank we might post it here, enjoy. |
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in her kitchen,
listening to her son play with his new electric train in the
living room.
She heard the
train stop and her son said, " All of sons of bitches who want to get
off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop. And all you
sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train now,
cause we're leaving!"
The mother went in and told her son, " We don't use that kind of
language in this house, now go to your room for 2 hours, and when you
come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice
language!"
2
hours later, the son came out of his room and resumed playing with the
train, soon the train stopped and the mother heard her
son say, " All passengers who are disembarking the train, please
remember to take all of your belongings with you, we thank you for
riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope
you will ride with us again soon. For those of you who are just
boarding, we ask you to stow all of your luggage under your seat.
Remember, there is no smoking except in the club car. We hope you will
have a pleasant and relaxing journey. And for those of you who are
pissed off about the 2 hour delay, please see the bitch in the
kitchen!"
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It was
the finals in a poetry contest. The two finalists were a
Yale graduate and a Redneck. The final contest was for them
make a poem in two minutes containing a word that would be
given to them by the judges.
The word was Timbuktu.
The Yale
graduate was the first to give his poem.
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a
lonely caravan. Men on camels two by two Destination Timbuktu.
The
audience went wild. They thought the Redneck would never stand
a chance against the YALE graduate.
Nevertheless, the Redneck stood up and gave his poem: Me and
Tim a hunting went Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They were
three and we were two So I bucked one and Timbuktu. The
Redneck won hands down.
Thanks Rod |
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A young couple just married were in their honeymoon suite on their
wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband who was a big
burly bruiser tossed his pants to his bride and said, " Here put these
on." She put them on and said the waist waas twice the size of her
body. " I can't wear your pants!" she said. "Thats right!" said the
husband, "and don't forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this
family."
With that she flipped him her panties and said, " Try these on ." He
tried them on and found he could only get them as far as his knee
caps, he said, " Hell, I can't get into your pants!" She said, " Thats
right, and that's the way it's going to be until your goddamn attitude
changes!!" |
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